Finding Love In Revenge
by accioseriesthree
Summary: "'I can't lose Nolan.' Emily wants to tell herself that it is merely because losing him as an ally would make her job a lot harder but, after the bond they have formed over the past few months, she just cannot believe that it is entirely about the job." A one-shot set during the toast Nolan & Emily had in 1x22.


_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or most of the dialogue, this one-shot is based on the scene Nemily share at Nolan's house in 1x22.  
_**∞x**

_I almost lost Nolan yesterday._

That thought is peculiar to Emily Thorne but not entirely new... To be honest she has almost lost Nolan a few times, but none of those have compared to what happened yesterday. Over the past six months or so she has formed a strange emotional connection with the awkward, lonely multi-millionaire and their bonding was certainly _not_ on her revenge list. If you had walked over to Emily this time six months ago and told her that she would be _friends_ with _Nolan Ross_ then she would have scoffed at you, but the sarcastic little weasel has actually managed to worm his way under her skin.

It was a slow process – befriending Nolan Ross – and there have been plenty of kinks in the road. As time progressed and they shared their mostly harmless banter, they argued, they started to become more and more honest with one another and they plotted their revenge against the Hamptonites together; Nolan and Emily actually started to feel... I don't know, a sort of _sibling_ relationship beginning to form between them. Emily had not truly noticed how strong that bond really was until she saw that threatening note from the white-haired man via webcam on Nolan's laptop.

_God_ had she been scared. Even now, where he is surrounded by the safety of his big, luxurious home, Emily can still remember the moment that she first laid eyes upon him; chained to what seemed to be a sickening _torture_ room hidden deep within the mysterious white-haired man's home. Maybe the memory is clearer here because she was stood in this very room; Nolan with blood stains on his white t-shirt, his arms hanging limp above his head, his nose all bloodied as if he had been hit by something... _Nolan_ passed out due to what she presumes was a blow to the head (It could have been the chloroform that her father's killer had her inhale but, from the blood on his face, she doubts that.) Her eyes had widened in panic and, then, the adrenaline had rushed through her bloodstream with the heavy and fast pounding of her heart. Her first thought at the time was not questioned for a while, but now she finds herself wondering why _those words_ popped in to her head:

_I can't lose Nolan._

Emily wants to tell herself that it is merely because losing him as an ally would make her job a lot harder but, after the bond they have formed over the past few months, she just cannot believe that it is entirely about the job. That irritates her. It means that Takeda may have been right – maybe she is not strong enough to exact revenge no matter what the cost may be. When you hate people the emotion _consumes_ you... Amanda Clarke had _no one_ when she had travelled over to Japan, trained with Takeda and then returned to carry out her plans but, well, things have changed since then.

The first thing that has changed is her feelings – she had not anticipated the emotional effect that returning to Southampton for good would have. Seeing Jack and Sammy again, getting engaged to Daniel, becoming friends with Nolan... Alright, so she had expected to see Jack, Sammy and Nolan – plus she had sort of planned to attempt a relationship with Daniel to use it against his parents – but she had not expect to let those three things affect her the way they have... Although each factor has had a similar affect on her for different reasons.

Amanda missed Jack – and Sammy, of course. Even now, as Emily Thorne, she knows that she cannot avoid everything in Amanda's past. Seeing both Jack and Sammy is a constant reminder of the summer she spent here as a child – a bridge to the memory of her father, if you will, and all of the fun that she had with her Dad, her puppy and her old friend. Throughout her time spent here, the 'Amanda' buried deep down inside herself has managed to fall in love with Jack... _That_ was certainly not planned.

Then there is Daniel Grayson – sweet, handsome, caring Daniel Grayson. He had originally been a part of the revenge plot: if Emily could get the Grayson's to accept her in to their family then spying on them would be a lot easier – the fact that Daniel is her age and single was practically a door that fate was just _begging_ her to open... But Emily has genuinely enjoyed the time she has spent with the Grayson's son, plus he did not have _anything_ to do with her father's imprisonment and death, so she found herself falling for him (well, until the lies he has told as of late)... That was _not_ planned... Neither was the pain of ending their engagement, but she can live with that.

So what about Nolan? She has always presumed that she feels emotionally connected to him because he is the only other person she knows who cares about her father, but after yesterday... She doesn't really know anymore. Something changed – some sort of emotional switched flipped – and suddenly she doesn't feel quite so sisterly towards him. She just feels like the thought of losing Nolan... Well, just imagining it is similar to the pain she feels due to losing Daniel.

What does _that_ mean?

Nolan chooses that point to make a re-appearance. Emily keeps her eyes closed as his footsteps approach but, once she hears something clatter against the floor, her eyelids slide open out of curiosity. When she spots the bottle of champagne in her ally's hand she cannot help rolling her eyes at him.

"Champagne does _not_ seem appropriate at nine A.M," She mumbles with a hint of tiredness in her voice – after what happened yesterday with the white haired man _and_ Daniel she didn't really get that much sleep... If any at all.

"Oh, Champagne is _always_ appropriate," Nolan replies with a hint of amusement in that smooth, flirtatious voice of his. The gentle sound of his words coax her eyes to fall closed once more. She can hear the Champagne pouring in to the glasses as he continues, "I mean you got your pound of flesh, Ems. The Grayson family is more-or-less decimated, your father's name is about to be cleared _and_ you got to kick the crap out of our new friend Casper the unfriendly murderer." The reminder of the man they encountered yesterday momentarily awakens Emily – she slowly lifts herself in to a sitting position and looks in to Nolan's eyes from underneath her long, dark eyelashes. Nolan finds himself watching her; unable to move as she looks at him so intensely.

"I didn't do it alone, Nolan... Thank you."

Gratitude; maybe that is what has made her feel so different? He _has_ helped her an awful not – not only during her time in Southampton as Emily Thorne but ever since she was the eighteen-year-old, fresh-out-of-juvie Amanda Clarke. She has not always been so grateful or kind to Nolan; perhaps she has suddenly become overwhelmed by that repressed gratefulness?

"Hmm," Nolan _hums_ after a prolonged moment of eye-contact between the two. The millionaire's eyes scan the room and land on the empty, blanket covered couch – this instantly reminds Emily of the fact that, now that the summer is over, Emily won't see Nolan again for god-knows-how-long... The fact that she is going to miss him _so much_ overwhelms her, knocking her 'gratitude' theory straight out the window. Gratitude wouldn't make her miss Nolan... But _what_ would? She can't possibly... She can't feel anything _romantic_ towards him... Could she? "So," he sighs whilst walking over to sit beside her on the couch, "Now that you've finished storming the castle," The intensity of Nolan's eyes takes Emily by surprise – he is not usually so _open_ about his emotions, but right now all she can see is his caring nature. Of course, she has always been aware of Nolan's unusual concern about her, but this seems different somehow... Has some sort of switched flicked with him, too? "What about Prince Daniel, hmm?" The reminder of Daniel hurts – she turns her eyes to gaze out of the window in an attempt to hide her pain, but she knows that Nolan can see it.

"We ended things," She murmurs, her eyes glaze over as she says the words. Nolan seems surprise by this news... And a little awkward. It is almost as if he doesn't really know how to act; he seems to settle on sympathetic.

"Wow, I'm sorry Ems..." He pauses for a moment to take a swig of his Champagne, "So that just leaves... Jack?"

Do you know the spot the difference game you played as a kid – the one where you are given two pictures and then around five objects or images are moved around or their colour is changed, and you have to find all of the differences? This is what this morning's musings remind Emily of and, now, she feels like she just found the final misplaced colour to complete the bigger picture. Nolan's delayed reaction to her break-up... The way he is watching her with, yes, expectance... But also a badly disguised desperation. Emily turns her gaze from the window to his adoring blue eyes, scanning them for the emotion she believed that she heard in his voice.

It is then that she realizes just what has changed – she really does feel something for Nolan... It is the same thing she feels for Jack and Daniel, the only difference is that Jack loves Amanda and Daniel loves Emily, but Nolan... He cares about her no matter who she is or who she is pretending to be. He has helped her, protected her and been her only friend when the entire world blocked her out because of what they _think_ her father did. Yes, her theory about gratitude was correct after all, but the warmth spreading through her from his gaze certainly isn't just gratitude or a platonic sisterly love, for that matter.

"What are you going to tell Jack?" Emily can tell that he is trying to remain casual but he feels slightly confused about where her mind is, this morning – she does too but, for once in her life, she has decided to actually _allow_ herself to feel whatever it is that she is currently feeling. She can trust Nolan and, to be honest, she _wants_ to trust him. Trust is not something that Emily Thorne or Amanda Clarke can give away freely. She smiles slightly before she speaks.

"Nothing," She finds herself glancing down at Nolan's lips for a moment... And, suddenly, she gets the urge to lean over, stop their conversation about Daniel and Jack and just kiss _him_. She wants to tell Nolan about how she thinks she may like him a lot more than a friend, that she wants to kiss him and no one else and that she is going to miss him so much when they part ways... But Emily has never been that good with words so, instead of speaking, she allows herself to lean over and place a gentle kiss to his lips.

They feel soft and still against hers and, as she presumed that she would, she likes it. Kissing Daniel always brought a guilty taste to her mouth afterwards and kissing Jack felt more like kissing an ex boyfriend that you still have feelings for but you know that the relationship is over... With Nolan all of that is different – he tests her and always pushes her buttons but he redeems himself with his honesty, kindness and complete devotion to her and anything that she needs him to help her with. As time passes and Nolan is nothing but unresponsive to the kiss, Emily pulls away and meets his gaze with her own.

"Nolan," She whispers with a rare uncertainty in her voice. She thought that maybe Nolan might feel the same way but now she is not so sure... The worried look on her face instantly reminds Nolan of that scared little girl in those old interview videos... Amanda Clarke has had the worst childhood imaginable – she was sent in to care as her father went to prison, she was sent to a cruel foster parent and then she was sent to juvie where she wasn't even told about her father's death. Even though Emily says that Amanda doesn't exist anymore he knows that she is lying: he sees hints of Amanda Clarke underneath Emily Thorne's exterior all the time, but this is the first time that he has seen the real, broken Amanda since he picked her up from juvie. "Should I have done that?" Nolan finds himself smiling slightly as he reaches up to run his fingers in to her soft blonde curls, which instantly sends a burst of excitement and nervousness through her... And then she knows that _she_ is really feeling this, that not just Emily or Amanda are separately enjoying this moment but a mix of the two that seems to take place only when she is in Nolan's presence... She knows that this is all _Emanda_. She leans forward to capture his lips with hers once more and, this time, he immediately begins to kiss her back with a passion that he has hidden from her for _so long_.

Emanda doesn't really understand what is happening or how she feels about Nolan Ross right now. All she knows is that she is kissing the one person on the planet that understands her... And she _loves_ it.

∞**x**

_A/N: I just started watching Revenge last week and God do I love it! I totally shipped Jemily at first but, as time passed, Nolan & Emily connected more and more & now I just ship them _so hard_. So, I couldn't help it – after watching the season finale I just _had_ to write this because, let's be honest, we want Nemily to share a kiss. I hope you all enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. _


End file.
